The Way to Change Others’ Minds

“The way to change others’ minds is with affection, and not anger.” 14th Dalai Lama

When has getting into a heated argument or deliberately causing others to suffer ever had the desired result of helping them to see our point of view? While you may have examples, they are surely the exception rather than the rule. A much more effective approach is to meet people where they are, with an understanding that their actions and attitudes make perfect sense to them from their perspective. Just like us, they can only see the world through the lens of their cultural, social, and personal experiences. Respecting that others have opinions and beliefs that are valid to them allows us the opportunity to learn more about them. In the process, they will be more willing and able to learn more about us.

Ultimately, if we want to affect others in healthy and meaningful ways, the most powerful method is to be a good example of the values we hold dear. Our actions always speak louder than our words. When our actions are motivated by a concern for others, they can feel that. Likewise, others can feel our disregard for their opinions and the beliefs they hold dear.

It is important to never underestimate the power of a good example. We do not have power over the choices others make, only the ones we make. However, we can be a strong influence through our examples. This does not mean we don’t hold others accountable, it means we do so skillfully, in ways that honor their value as a human being while addressing the actions that need to be addressed. The people we interact with, consciously or subconsciously, are impacted by how we treat them. When we treat them as valuable, whether they agree with us or not, they will be more open to what we have to offer.

Today, I invite you to recognize the value of others. When they speak, give them your attention and respond with the same level of care you would for your loved ones.


From the daily guidance in Mindful Life Community – Copyright © 2020 Mindful Life Program, All rights reserved.

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